Well it's that time again, time for me to review a film and compliment it excessively and treat it like its one of the greatest films ever made, per usual. Which would be the case, had i not actually seen The Green Hornet. Anyone who's seen The Green Hornet will agree with me, and if you haven't, congratulations to you, you lucky bastard. Now, while it isn't one of the worst movies ever made, it is by no means a good movie, and is probably the worst I've seen in awhile. For those of you who don't know, The Green Hornet is a continuation of the Green Hornet franchise, which started as a radio drama, was made into several comic book series, a television series, and a few movies. The Green Hornet and Kato have been fighting crime together for almost 75 years. With such a long run, and such well developed stories and characters, it couldn't have been too hard to piece together a pretty good movie, but that is exactly what failed to happen.
Let's start with Seth Rogen, who also co-wrote the movie. Rogen plays the Green Hornet, aka Britt Reid. Reid is your typical partying playboy slash disappointing son whose father owns and operates a newspaper company. Of course, then the father dies and Britt inherits the business and everything else. Shortly after, due to a combination of resentment for his father, a really cool car, and alcohol, Britt Reid becomes the Green Hornet. The character of Britt goes back and forth from annoying, whiny prick, to stereotypical playboy, to decent, noble human being, to his least common personality, actually funny. I spent most of the movie desperately trying to like Britt, but it was made virtually impossible. He had more lines than any other character in the movie, and even considering he was the main character, there were too few lines that had any kind of depth to them to justify all the talking he did. Since Seth Rogen also co-wrote, I'm afraid I'm going to have to call him out on the writing to. For starters, as I previously said, he gave himself an unnecessarily large amount of lines. The movie is also rather poorly structures. As I was watching, it felt as if they were making it up as they went along. They'd try taking the movie in one direction, not like it, and change course mid-film. It actually felt as if they'd done several different cuts of the movie, and then just stuck bits and pieces together, resulting in some kind of Frankenstein film.
Jay Chou plays the role of Kato, right-hand man to both Britt Reid and the Green Hornet. He starts off as an assistant to Britt's father, making his coffee and fixing his cars, and after Britt's father's death, goes on to do the same for Britt. Apart from being an outstanding mechanic and engineer, Kato is also highly skilled in martial arts, and it is a combination of these two traits that gives Britt the idea of going out and fighting crime. Now, I'm not going to lie, Kato is the best thing about this movie. Very few unnecessary lines, and good delivery of the lines he had. The action scenes were also amazingly well done, although a little short. They played out like a QTE, or Quick-Time Event for you non-gamers out there. Simple, isolated actions, strung together in a bad-ass sequence that almost made the rest of this movie worth watching.
Now, there were other characters in this movie, but honestly I don't feel any of the other performances were anything noteworthy. All in all, this movie isn't worth the ticket price.
tl;dr:
Plot: 5/10
Acting: 5/10
Soundtrack: 7/10
Effects: 8/10
Overall: 6.25/10
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